Sneezy Pete

"Oh my God, you're Sneezy Pete!"


I couldn't contain myself.  He seemed a bit crushed.  It was a wedding, and I'd had a few festive summer mixed drinks.  This was a millennial wedding, the groom was the handsome twenty-eight year old son of the office manager from my former agent, from back when I was on the tennis tour.  We'd become friends, she was about a dozen years older than me and divorced when I was playing professional tennis. She's still a dozen years older than I am, mind you, but she's happily remarried now.  I say happily with a smile on my face too, because she deserves happiness and I know from personal experience that Liz is a firecracker sexually, so her college professor husband is kept very happy.  No, I've never fucked Professor Tom.  Well, okay, for a while I hadn’t. That's changed. You see, Liz gets hot not only from her own sexual adventures, but from promoting the sexual escapades of those close to her, as you'll read.


So anyway, Liz's son Dan from her first marriage, to a tool named Richard (you know, "Dick' for short!), was becoming a Bar Mitzvah boy about fifteen years ago, and Liz and I were such good friends and the date did not conflict with any tournaments I was playing, or maybe it was convenient to the US Open so I was able to attend since it took place in northern New Jersey....sorry, this detail escapes me.  What didn't escape me was Dick's cousin, Pete, who was single and cute and I'd been told liked tennis and found me attractive and let that be known very early during the cocktail welcome of the Bar Mitzvah reception.  Yep, Pete was good looking, maybe mid to late twenties, maybe a couple years older than me but not much, and wore a nice Brooks Brothers suit at the wedding, nice expensive looking shoes that might also have been Brooks Brothers, if they sell shoes (do they?).  Pete was a young lawyer, I was told at the introduction.  The intro went something like this, "Dolly, meet Pete.  Pete's a cousin of Richard's, just graduated law school at Columbia, and is going to be practicing in Manhattan.  Pete, this is Dolly."


Pete's eyes went slowly up and slowly down, then back again, all over me.  He smiled, a nice smile as I recall. "I've seen you play tennis, Dolly. You're fantastic."


A good opening line.


"I don't mean to embarrass you, but you're like the sexiest player on tour, and that's when you're out on the court running around and sweating.  And now, wow, meeting you in a little black dress and heels, wow, you're even more amazing."


Okay, I think I can hang with this boy for a while.


He'd played in college, a small liberal arts college I'd never heard of.  I thought he called it Fairly Ridiculous, but it turned out it was called Farleigh Dickinson.  Then law school at an Ivy League university.


And I was starting to get a little moist in my coochie, charmed by his flattery for starters, impressed by him not being some ivy league douchebag but a fun sounding regular guy, nice sense of humor, self-deprecating, and handsome enough at about six foot, one hundred eighty or so, green eyes.  And big hands. I took his hand in mine and led him toward some buffet tables, "come on, let’s get some nibbles, never know what the night might bring, maybe I'll get lucky with you Pete and I might need my strength later..."


See how I did that?  Turn it around, talk about me getting lucky with him?  He blushed and his dick hardened when I said that bit to him about ME getting lucky.  Lots of different types of food, it was practically like a Vegas buffet, so we got assorted small bites and got fresh drinks, and headed out on the terrace of the event facility.  I was considering my time line for Pete (let's see now, wander off onto the practice green over there and suck him off first so he'll last longer in my pussy back at my hotel?  Let him take me in a standing doggie naughty fuck in some secluded corner of the men's locker room, oh, wait, I know!  How about in Liz's hotel room since I had an extra key and Dan was staying with Richard (you know, "Dick"!) that weekend....)


And then he sneezed.  It was a powerful sneeze.  Okay, a hard sneeze.  It happens.  I was still imagining his cock, how it would feel in my lips, to my tongue, my fingers stroking him, maybe coaxing him into fucking my tits and coating my face....


And then he sneezed again.  "God bless you" I said.  Then again.  And again.


And I saw Pete's eyes were swollen.  Oh dear God, he's having an allergic reaction.


The next sneeze took a moment's delay, like he was rearing back to fire.


And old' Dick himself passed by, heard the sneezing, which was continuing and getting stronger, and suddenly I didn't feel so horny, I mostly felt sorry for Pete and was debating would I simply be disappointed and go without getting laid because of Pete's allergic reaction to ....whatever it was.  Dick went and got Pete's parents. He apologized on the way to the car, but he was in a full blown allergic reaction, there was nothing else to do.


Well, almost nothing.  I fucked Liz's brother, Eric.  Not nearly the personality that Pete had before he became sneezy Pete, but boys, sometimes you get lucky because you are available and not with a woman and someone or something else has gotten me horny and I need to get laid and it’s "love the one you're with" time.


Eric wasn't weirded out that we fucked in his sister's hotel room.  "It’s not my first time" and I just figured that meant Liz was a supercool older sister.  But when she walked in and I was riding Eric and even though it wasn't the first time Liz and I were in the room together when one of us was fucking, she didn't seem upset so much as she seemed....dare I say it, jealous?  "Eric, fuck, what the fuck are you ....with Dolly....Dolly, did you know he was my .... what the...."


He blushed when he got up after I dismounted and apologized (I thought I was apologizing for using her room for my sexual conquest, but there was just something....but no, I never found out if Eric and Liz ever got closer than brothers and sisters are meant to get.


Not that it wouldn't have been hot to see.  If you're into total taboo, that is.

And I never saw Sneezy Pete again.


Until Dan was getting married last weekend.  Fast forward fifteen years.  Little Danny not so little anymore, now he is a millennial groom.


The whole thing.  Those light brown shoes with a blue suit, not even a tux.  Not clean shaven, because millennial don’t shave very well.  His bride a nice girl named Mary, not the same religion as nice Jewish boy Danny, and this was a bit of an issue for Liz, but she said, "He's got to live his own life, but his father has given him shit because of how much Danny's bar mitzvah cost and then the boy didn't grown up to marry within the faith. Dick's second wife was Jewish, too.  And even his current wife is Jewish, too."    Which apparently was a big thing in their family.


Yep, three girls made it down the aisle with Dick.  At least Liz was released early, her sentence reduced to time served by the judge with a divorce about a year before Danny's bar mitzvah.


Now before I totally trash millennials, while it’s true I prefer mature, established adult men, I'll always have a mini crush on Danny.


Because he had a not so mini crush on Dolly.. I mean, on me.


Hey, they boy has good taste.  There he was as a thirteen year old at his bar mitzvah, I was maybe twenty four or twenty five, about half way in age between him and his mother, and I was fit, on the tennis tour, tanned, young, and showing a lot of leg.  Did I wonder if he'd gone home the night after his bar mitzvah party and used me for his adolescent jerk fantasy?  Okay, actually, maybe a little, at some point before I fucked his uncle Eric in his mother Liz's hotel room.  I dressed in a hurry and actually danced with him.  I was still tipsy, I knew he had a crush on me, and I'd danced with him earlier.  But earlier I didn't have the scent of sex on me.  Yeah, I should simply have called it a night and showered.


I danced a slow one with Dan.  Thirteen year old Dan.  Then a second one.  His pubescent erection poking into me. And feeling a chill of excitement over the effect I was having on him.  I hugged him close and kissed his cheek, then the lightest possible peck I've ever given on any set of lips.  "Wish you'd save me a date when you grow up, but I'll be all old and you'll be too busy with hot girls your own age by the time you're as old as I am now."




"Dolly", I thought to myself, "You've completed the triple crown"


I'd had sex with Liz.  I'd had sex with Liz's brother.


And now I'd made Danny's fifteen year old fantasy, or maybe more, come true when I slept with him the week before his wedding.


God I love being a slut!


So I'm shopping for shoes with Liz for Liz's son's wedding, I'd seen Danny a few times over the years, clearly he had a crush on me in my twenties, but that was a couple husbands and children and divorces ago for me, and yes, I'm a MILF, I don't deny it, and I work out and all, but was sweet little Danny, now about twenty eight, engaged, living with his fiancé for about three years, still into me?


That answer seemed to be yes, I discovered, when we crossed paths in the boutique shopping district with Danny and his groomsmen emerging from the men’s' store where they'd bought the shoes that all matched each other.


And he lit up.  And his hand glanced across intimate places on me in a way that was subtle enough that everyone else merely saw him hug a dear old friend.  But I felt enough to know that I'd been kind of felt up.


And I liked it. And he was bold enough not to look away when I made knowing eye contact with him.


So we all went to a Starbucks and I soon enough Dan and I were in a little world, and somewhere over the background noise I heard Liz say to someone, "Look how cute, Dan with his Aunt Dolly, he had such a crush on her, looks like he still does."


Was Liz being an enabler when she asked Dan to drive me to the train I'd taken from Manhattan to their suburban area.  I was staying all week in New York until the following weekend when the wedding was actually taking place.


Dan parked instead of just pulling up to let me out, and he took my hand in his, we clasped fingers.


"I'm so glad we ran into you, Danny, gave us a chance to catch up before you're someone else's forever."


I meant to just hug and affectionately peck his cheek.  I swear that's what I meant to do.  I'm at a loss to explain that I never hesitated to part my lips and accept his tongue into my mouth, or why I parted my legs when his hand found the inside of my thigh, or why, when his lips were playing a masterpiece on my neck I gasped, "come back to my hotel and fuck me hard Dan, it’s what you've wanted and I do too, now."


How we didn't strip each other on the train is a miracle.


Good thing he was a gentleman and asked about and used protection.  Looking back, I'd have let him mount me bareback if he hadn't stopped to suit up, it was all just such a fantasy cum true evening that stretched into night.  The first time was pure love-making, and it didn't last long, but so sweet and loving and sensual.  After the third time that night, which unlike the first two was a hard dirty fuck, the kind I'd asked him for, only then did we both giggle about how quickly the first one ended.  "Well shit, Dolly, sixteen years since I started wanting to fuck you I finally get to, and here you are giving yourself to me like you're my bachelor party slut, can you really blame me for popping that quickly?"


He spent the night.  He texted Liz to tell her that she needed to back up his story to his fiancé that he'd crashed at Liz's house after bumping into me.  "Dolly, yes, Mom knows.  She just texted, 'did Dolly at least make you wear a condom?"


That tramp!  What, she thought I was going to give her boy some disease?


Turns out that wasn't it at all.  Later, much later, when I confronted her about the implication right after she confronted me about fucking her son (okay, I think she had the moral high ground there) she said, "oh hell no, Dolly, I know you're clean for God's sake, I still hope you and I can share a bed sometime for old time's sake, and I loan you to my husband about once or twice a year for a treat for him, don't I?"


Well then why did you ask about a condom?


"I didn't want you to be the mother of my first grandchild, Dolly, that's all"


I think I spit-sprayed my Sauvignon Blanc across the table when Liz told me that.


But back to my hook up night with Danny, oh God, he was everywhere with me.  His lips, his tongue, tracing my muscles, rimming me after a sexy shower, his fingers exploring my body, the way he gently but firmly controlled my head when I sucked his circumcised cock, and then how he lost all inhibition and fucked the shit out of my face and came in my mouth and I showed him his seed and then swallowed and then he kissed me and sucked my tongue saying it was so hot that Dolly had sucked him off and swallowed, that his fiancé wouldn't let him cum in her mouth but he loved her anyway.  And I was his first anal sex, he told me, that she wasn't agreeable to that, either.


We got a few hours’ sleep and then I rode him.


"You were riding my Uncle Eric like this when my mom walked in on your at my bar mitzvah," he said, calmly.  I was about to freak out and dismount but he pulled me tight, close, and started fucking me fast, rapidly, quicker thrusts and kissed me, then whispered in my ear, "we're pretty open, and when I confessed to Uncle Eric I'd always wished I could have taken you to my prom, no matter that you're like ten years older than me, Eric replied that I was right, that you would have been the best sex of my life, because you were the best sex of his."


Okay, a lot to process.  The open-ness of their relationship, the fact that sweet Danny only thought I was ten years older than him when it was really twelve, maybe thirteen, and I'll take every year I can get shaved off my age now that I'm, ahem, yes, forty, and not to mention, hey, so Eric thought I was the best sex of his life?  Wow, nice.  Imagine if I'd actually wanted to fuck HIM that night, not Sneezy Pete, how good it might have been for him, and Eric didn't need to know he was second choice.  It’s like in my Dolly dates, I work my best to be the best for my sex partner, I always want to make a great sexual memory.  It’s the best way to be wanted again for more.


"So, Eric's married now, isn't he?"


"He still fucks around, Dolly, this marriage won't last.  If you want him at the wedding, you can definitely make it happen."


He was inside me as we were having this small talk.  So intimate, this boy turned man with me, his dream girl turned sensual MILF.  He was romantic AND dirty in a perfect balance of the two. "I've wished my whole life to be your lover, Dolly" he told me. Wow. Working through my mind if I could fuck him all week leading up to his wedding.  And if I was still going to be invited to the wedding once Liz processed that not only was I fucking her son, but I was perhaps jeopardizing his wedding. Because I was really enjoying how his body felt on top of me, under me, inside me...


Yes, the idea of "could Dan and I elope?" Passed through my mind. I'd known him all his life. He knew what I was all about. Oh my God, was I going to steal a groom? That would be a first for me. No, not fucking a groom, I've done that often, and loved it. No, by "steal" I meant be the one he married, not the fiancé. Actually having to call off the scheduled wedding because he was working my body, emotions and mine so amazingly. OMG, cancel Liz's son's wedding because I was the cougar who stole him. And she'd paid a lot of non-refundable dollars for that rehearsal dinner!


We fucked often that week, but not continuously, and that was the only night he stayed all night.


Liz stayed with me the next night.  How kinky, saying, "so, my handsome son's thick cock was inside here last night, mmmm, let me taste....."


She explained she had permission to stay with me as a return favor for the times she loaned her husband to me.  Or was she loaning me to her husband?


And then the day of the wedding.


I hadn't seen Dick in fifteen years.  He was totally bald, at first I mistook him for his father, but then I remembered, oh yeah, he was pretty thin on top way back when, and now he's much older.  Liz had traded up.


I greeted him, remembered to call him Richard, told him what a great son he had.  The blank look on his face let me know that unlike his mom, Richard was not part of the inner sanctum of sexual awareness and sharing.


And yes, the thought occurred to me, did Liz not only fuck her brother back in the day, but did she still, and oh my God, I couldn't ask, did she and Danny.....


Part of what I love about Liz.  Let's me know that I'm really just a normal girl with a healthy appetite for sex.  But measured against Liz, I'm mainstream and she's the total freak.


So there, sitting in the row behind me before the ceremony, I saw him.


Pete.  Richard's cousin.


He still had his hair (He later told me that only rarely did he even give his hair a thought, since nowadays so many men shave their heads and bald is "in", but that it drove Richard crazy.  When "later" did Pete tell me?  When I grabbed a  fistful of that hair and gasped and grunted, "fuck me, Pete, really fuck me, give it to me, oh damn baby, yeah, like that, mmmm, God yeah, oh yeah, right there, make me yours..."


But back to the wedding site.  Pete, in the row behind me.


Our eyes me.  We both smiled.  He looked good.  Didn't seem to have gained weight.  Except for the couple ounces of gold on his ring finger of his left hand.


"Do you remember, me?" he asked, "because I remember you, Dolly, and you're just as beautiful as the night of Danny's bar mitzvah party when we were introduced and having a nice night and then I had some allergic reaction and had to leave and never saw you again except when I watched you play tennis on television and wondered what might have been,."


"Sneezy Pete!  Of course I remember you!  Did you ever find out what it was you were allergic to?  I always wished you'd called me after."


"Well, I had a girlfriend, she was casual kind of at the time, but I was so embarrassed that I guess I tried to hide my shame by getting more serious with her and then we got married, and ol' cousin Dickie as often as not wasn't talking to Liz about anything other than co-parenting so I never followed up."


I smiled, I licked my lips, and realized my nipples were hard.


"You look better than ever, Dolly.  I hope you'll save a dance for me this time."


"I better get your wife's okay."


"She's home with our kids., they're two and four."


Wow, you have such young kids and you got real serious with her fifteen years ago after that bar mitzvah?


"Oh, no, that was my first wife back then.  She divorced me after she caught me jerking off to your photos on the internet.  Well, that and the time Liz was pissed at Dick for refusing to pay for half of Danny's youth trip to Israel and to get back at him she called me and fucked me and send Dick a photo from her cell phone and then texted that my cock was bigger than his."


Again, a lot to process.


And Liz truly was a man-eater.


"Liz caused your divorce?"


"Oh hell, I take responsibility for that.  It’s not like I hadn't jerked off to thoughts of her before that night.  Or to thoughts of you and Liz both together."  Pete danced with me, romanced with me, took me away from the crowd to kiss me, and yes, oh yes, we finally finished what we'd started so long ago. And when I opened up to him about my Dolly dates he said he knew, that it turned we had a mutual friend who sent him a link and he recognized... oh, no matter, he knew and he said it made me more desirable.



Now dear readers, let me just leave you with these few thoughts.  Hold on tight to your dreams, someday you may get to live them out, after all.  Much like his first cousin once removed (Dan), Pete came quickly with me that first time when we left the wedding reception early.   But we've been together since. And have some dates set up in the next few weeks. And Liz is just a tremendously kinky girl, and I say that without even knowing whether or not she engages in taboo forbidden sex with her family members.  Or does she just want me to think that about her?  Which is what she whispered in my ear the last time I was in her bed, as she held me from behind, her mouth on my neck, my ears, her fingers holding my sex open for her husband the Professor to fill me, at last the three of us fucking together instead in turns with each other since we'd all decided our relationship with thrive, not die, if Tom and I fucked.


And that last thing Liz said to me before she took my nipple into her lips, "Maybe next time instead of Professor Tommy Boy here, you might want me to bring sexy sonny boy Dan into the mix with us, wouldn't you, Dolly? He loves how you taste, and you know I love tasting you off a man's lips and cock..." And then she laughed a wicked evil laugh. Holy shit, either the perverse slut of the year or the tease of the year! And then she did something to me with her fingers that felt oh so amazing, and Tom said, "Liz, look at the glow on Dolly's face”, Pete had magic fingers too so at some point in the past when Liz would fuck Pete she'd learned some good hand techniques from him. Hey, Dolly, Liz told you about the time she slipped Pete some raspberry preserves at a bar mitzvah so that he'd have an allergic reaction, didn't she?  Back when she was married to Dick, she had heard Dick mention the allergy Pete had. She'd promised some other guy he could fuck you that night so she had to get you away from Pete.  Nice that you and Pete have reconnected."

Oh, these friends of mine.

Hey, sneezy Pete, Anytime, anywhere, you're a totally cool lover.

But what I never knew till this very day, it was Liz, all along.



Purely fictional fantasy for your reading pleasure!

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